Authentic Voice vs. Perfectionist Diva – Who “wins”?

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So I decided to type the blog today – I am “in a mood” and I just couldn’t get the guts up to put myself on camera and be cheery :)  Why?  oh yes that perfectionist demon or diva in my head says I have to keep improving on every vlog.  The way I got the first vlog up is a promised myself I would not watch it until it was posted.

So I have this crazy talk in my head

AUTHENTIC VOICE: Amy you have to be you and not being comfortable on camera is part of the beauty of the process that makes you authentic, real and people want that.

PERFECTIONIST DIVA:  Amy you look uncomfortable and keep saying um.  Why don’t you practice some so you can be effective in your communication.

So which one do I listen to?  One makes me run fast and get something out there and the other makes me overthink like a crazy woman.  Then I realized we all do that in different areas of our life and maybe you all would have some advice and thoughts on the matter.

I find this also happening right now in my running.  I started running in April of this year and consistently ran about 2x/week.  My first half marathon was on Aug 1st.  I took the week after off … then tried to move into new fancy shoes… hurt myself …blah blah blah.

Result = I have not kicked my butt running more than 3 miles since the race

So now I have this conversation in my head:

AUTHENTIC VOICE:  Amy get out there and start over from scratch and you will get your endurance back fast and be right there training for your next race.

PERFECTIONIST DIVA:  Amy you used to be able to run 2 hours and now you can’t make it 30 minutes.  Don’t walk… you need to keep running.  This is a mental game that you are losing.

Right now, I am just trying to be consistently getting out there (guess it’s my middle ground) on both running and blogging.  But I love that blogging it bringing out this in me.  Something to expand and explore….

So how do you balance the two voices in your head when it comes to putting yourself out there?

6 Comments on “Authentic Voice vs. Perfectionist Diva – Who “wins”?

  1. Amy, I thought you did a great job on your vlog. We are all so critical about our selves in so many areas of our lives. The um part now that you are conscious of it will fade slowly. In Professional Development class they had us practice speaking to each other with different questions to get us use to thinking on the spot & how to avoid the um's & looking up.
    Being that you are just getting out there is a HUGE accomplishment. I have been wanting to get back on my fitness game for the past 7 months since I started school full time but seem to not have the drive or determination by the time I get home at night with all the other things in life that need taken care of. Don't beat yourself up. We are here to support you and cheer you on. HUGS! Bobbi Jo

  2. OH Bobbie Jo – You are a sweetheart! Trust me, I am not taking myself THAT seriously 😉 I just can't believe how much this blogging is bringing out that diva 😉 It holds a mirror to some inner voices that I didn't realize I had. It's a good balance for me to work through this.

    Hopefully we can step through this together! :) I am going to make a goal to just keep posting. For my exercise, I am making a calendar and writing things down. I know i am bad if i don't go before lunch so I am going to start looking for those 20 minutes holes in my day where I can sneak out and lace up those shoes.

    Thanks so much for your hugs! They got me smiling!!!
    Amy

  3. Hey,

    thanks for your reply…

    What dumbbells do you use? 10 kilos? Come on, I'd love to see a flex…think of this way…show us what your arms look like now, and then we'll see your constant progress, once you flex again in a couple of weeks. Ok? 😉

    Mr. Flo

  4. HONEY!! You've been watching MY vlogs. Do you think I worry about the perfection factor? DANG! That's why reality TV is so popular. WE embrace the "REAL". Let your light shine Amy. I love your light! Always.
    😉 XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOX

  5. Girl you are toooo hard on yourself! Your doing great and I am loving the chlorophyll!!! I can't believe I have never heard about this stuff before. It is so good for you :)

  6. Oh, Amy I can soooo relate. I have the same challenge in my life, and the only thing I've learned so far is to not go into battle with the "diva". I do prefer my authentic self and "we" are working on getting the diva to cooperate with us and slowly leave the room, but it can only be done in a way that is nice to the diva. So, that's the only advice I can give you, be nice to your diva, make her an offer she won't be able to refuse, and then when the time comes when she wants to take over, you can quiet her down like: you know I did this and this for you and now you're going to be quiet.
    After reading what I just wrote I kinda feel like a crazy person :))

    Great blog you have, I really enjoy reading it

    Greetings from Slovenia

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